Been a bit busy lately

Ive been insanely busy lately both with work and outside of work, I have been reading a book by Joyce Myer '21 things about a leader'... Now I know what you will be thinking, tacky name and a christian 'self-help' book. But I am finding it really good, it is a hard read but I am enjoying it. It is reminding me about things I learnt while I was studying at Bible College.

Hopefully I will be able to get back into blogging and sharing my thoughts.

I hope you all have a great Christmas, I hope that you eat too much, drink too much and sleep too much :) Cya!!!

I got in!!!

I received the letter of acceptance yesterday from Southern Institute of Technology!!! yay!

I also have got a place to live, I have posted some photos up on flickr.

Dunno yet if I will have net access at the flat, I will have it at polytech but I don't know if they will have blogger blocked or not.

Its crunch time!

I sent my application to Southern Institute of Technology today, I also talked to my Boss and have given a provisional resignation, If I get accepted for the course I'm gone!

Exciting times :)

My name

Hehe I came across this and I thought I'd share it, how many is it for you?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 323 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Possibilities

I am planning to move!!!

I have come to the end at the polytechnic that I am studying at currently. They can no longer offer me any courses that will be beneficial for me.

So

.

.

.

I am looking at moving to Invercargill to study FULL-TIME at the Southern Institute of Technology (SIT)

I plan to complete a Bachelor of Information Technology, specialising in Management. It will take two years and then I will be qualified.

For those of you who read this blog who are further abroad, Invercargill is 6 hours drive south of where I currently live. See Invercargill.org.nz for more info on Invercargill.

This will be a big change but hopefully it will be for the best, I have had a real sense of peace about the whole thing.

Ill keep posting about what happens!!!

Technorati tags: Invercargill, Degree, Moving

We are just friends aren't we?

I am a bit gutted today, feeling a little discouraged.

The last three girls I have been interested in have all said that I am good to talk to, they want to share what is going on for them but all of them just want to be friends.

What I find hard is how do you tell when someone wants to be more than friends? I am getting sick of setting myself up for a fall. But do I go to the other extreme and ignore any chances that come along because I don't want to be hurt? Girls I have talked to say that they generally wait for the guy to initiate a relationship but I am starting to wonder if it is worth taking the risk.

My biggest fear is that I will be 40 and still single. This thought terrifies me. It drives me to take these risks.

Haha I know this sucks but I will set myself up again, there will be another Girl that will come along that I will want to get to know better, and it will probably end up the same way.

I wonder what God is thinking when he watches me go through all of this?

Flickr

I uploaded a heap of photos to my flickr site tonite, and added the little sidebar image preview thingy to this blog. Click it to check out my collection of photos.

:)

46 posts but who's counting?

This is my 46th post since starting, I have had good days, I have had bad days.

I have been thinking about how I have used this blog to share my thoughts to share my life.

Originally this blog was intentioned to be a place where I could be completely honest, somewhere I could be completely transparent and be naked before the world.

Unfortunately this has not been the case. Initially I wasn't going to tell anyone about this blog, I was going to stay anonymous but this didn't happen to plan. I shared with those who I respect and with those I wanted to impress. Now I am unsure if I can be honest on this blog...

I have struggled my way through my questions about church on this forum and I have found much benefit from it.

The question I am asking now is where to from here? What direction do I take this blog?

Weird Al...

There is an artist that I have tried to follow over the last few years, he is known as Weird Al Yankovich. Weird Al is hillarious if sometimes a bit geeky, have a listen and let me know what you think...

Have a look at his myspace here and listen to his new song "White and Nerdy" (to the music of Riding Dirty by Chamillionairre)

enjoy!

God will make you wealthy?

I read an article from TIME magazine yesterday and it got me thinking

Here is the link to the article, I will post my thoughts here soon

Click here for the article

Feel free to post your thoughts...

Mosaic

I came across a video on the mosaic website from CNN that is profiling Mosaic, it shows footage of a service and I found it to be interesting to see what happens there.

Click here to view the video (you will need high-speed internet to view)

Let me know what you think

BTW I have been real busy lately so havnt been able to post.

Scripture reading

At small group last night we got talking about spiritual disciplines and Gordon (the Pastor) shared about Bible reading and he challenged us to just read until something stands out to us and to then journal what and why

I got out my Bible tonight and spent some time reading (for the first time in weeks) The scripture passage that stood out to me was:

Jesus called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority to cast out evil spirits and to heal every kind of disease and illness....

[Jesus says to...] Go and announce to them that the Kingdom of Heaven is near. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received.

Matthew 10:1,6-8

This stuck out to me because of what God entrusts to us. I see myself as a disciple of Jesus and the challenge here is to do good in the world and announce the Kingdom of God through this.

This photo is out on a friends farm, I love it out there :)

My Word Cloud

I saw this on the merry rose blog and I thought I'd do it for my blog as well

The word cloud website analyses your blog and creates the above images based on the words it finds on your blog.

To create your own go here

The church, Church Services and Questions...

A friend from the states posted a comment up that I thought is worth responding to in a full post...

Ok, I have just read your entire blog just now. I like your ideas, even though I'm not a christian I can see the good in them, however, after reading certain posts I've become opinionated about something...
OK First of all your my friend, and I'm taking the time to comment because I care. This goes back to the post about being lonely. From what I can gather from my research, church is about community (among other things) Now as someone who is as dedicated to his church as you are I am really sad to hear that things are getting lonely for you, I would be asking myself questions, "Is this the right church for me?", "Are other members feeling the same way?" To me Church shouldnt be just about God, but about growing relationships with people who share your faith (inside and outside of church) and if people only feel obligated to do that at church they are missing the point. Then again I could be wrong. I'm going to bed now.

Chris it is great to hear from you and to get your feedback, I appreciate it. I should clarify that when I talk about the church in my posts, I am referring to either

a) A Church Service or

b) The christian community in a certain area. "The Church"

I mix and match the use of the word Church based on what I am talking (ranting?) about.

It's funny you should suggest those two questions that I should be asking, I have been asking these questions and have had interesting answers...

"Is this the right church for me?" - I have asked this one of myself repeatedly and have come to the conclusion that I need to see what other communities are out there, I have started going to a different church in town that seems to have a good group of young adults; I am unsure yet if it is where I want to 'lay roots' but I am open to seeing what they are like.

"Are other members feeling the same way?" - I have been asking other 20-somethings similar questions, I had a very interesting discussion with some friends from out of town, they come from a Christian background and they have been questioning the character of God. Questions like "If heaven is so perfect, why did Satan leave?" or "What about all the suffering in the world, how can a just God allow that?". Personally I believe it is healthy and good to question and re-evaluate what we believe and why we believe. The reaction from the Christian community to them asking these questions has been (in my opinion) shocking. My friends either have been ignored or they have been given the hollow answers rather than actually listening to what is being questioned and giving permission to search for answers. I am quite angry about how they have been treated and it has disillusioned me a little about the church. But I believe that the church still has an important role to play. I came across this quote the other day:

 The church is a she.

She's a mystery, isn't she? Still going after all this time. After the Crusades and the Inquisition and Christian cable television. Still going. And there continue to be people like me who believe she is one of the best ideas ever. In spite of all the ways she has veered off track. In spite of all the people who have actually turned away from God because of what they experienced in church. I am starting to realize why: The church is a double edged sword. When it's good, when it's on, when it's right, its like nothing on earth. A group of people committed to selflessly serving and loving the world around them? Great. But when it's bad, all that potential gets turned the other way. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. Sometimes in the same week. Sometimes in the same day.

Velvet Elvis - Rob Bell pg. 172

So I'm not giving up on the church yet, but Chris you are right Church is also about community and that sense of connection with others who share that belief.

BTW Newt I'm in hungary tell Edwy to get me a Sandwich +1!!! (inside joke)

Good News

I read this tonight and it stuck out to me...

"Imagine an average street in an average city in an average country, if there is such a place. Lets imagine Person X lives in a house on this street. Next door is a Hindu, and on the other side is a Muslim. Across the street is an atheist, next door to them is an agnostic...

Imagine Person X becomes a Christian. Maybe she read something or had friends who inspired her to learn more, or maybe she had an addiction and through a recovery movement she surrendered her life to God. However it came to be, she became a follower of Jesus. Let's say she starts living out Jesus' teachings, actually taking him seriously that she can become a compelling force for good in the world. She is becoming more generous, more compassionate, more forgiving, more loving. Is she becoming a better or worse neighbor? If we are her neighbors, we're thrilled about her new faith. We find ourselves more and more grateful for a neighbor like this. We wish more people would be like this."

Its about life change...

Not about religion...

Its about freedom...

Not about bondage...

Its about revolution...

Not about tradition...

EDIT: The quote is from Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, Page 166

My flat

I thought I'd post a photo of my flat up :)

I'm really loving this flat, It is good to be out of home again :-)

The How evil are you quiz...

I saw this on The Merry Rose's blog and I had to do it for myself...

Heres is my result...


How evil are you?

The Merry Rose

I came across this blog the other day, I appreciated what was said (even though she is an Aussie hehe)

The Merry Rose

I believe...

I went to the local New Life church on Sunday and the speaker shared a quote from a holocaust survivor:

I believe that the sun shines even though I may not see it...

I believe in love even though I may not experience it...

I believe in God even though he may not be speaking to me...

The new Generation

It is our turn to step up and take responsibility for who the church is going to be for a new generation. It is our turn to redefine and reshape and dream it all up again. It is our turn to rediscover the beautiful, dangerous, compelling idea that a group of people, surrendered to God and to each other, really can change the world.

Rob Bell - Velvet Elvis pg 164

Ok so what would the church look like if we rethought how we do church?

What would change?

What would stay the same?

If the church was stripped back to a blank canvas how would we paint it?

What does blank canvas look like?

What are the essential elements of the church?

Rick Warren (author of Purpose Driven Church) would say there were:

1. Evangelism
   
2. Worship
   
3. Fellowship
   
4. Discipleship
   
5. Ministry

Other authors have varying words they use to articulate what the basic elements are that make up the 'canvas', what gets painted on the canvas is unique to each church community.
An easy trap to fall into is to try and copy another's painting, rather than finding the blank canvas that we can paint a unique masterpiece on.

If it is our responsibility to redefine what the church is going to be in this generation, then this is a very serious task.

What seems to be the painting of the canvas soo hard is that everybodies ideas for how to paint the canvas is different, here are some examples...

Experience vs. Knowledge - I have seen both extremes of this in Timaru, I see people who are only focused on experiencing God and something is wrong with them or the service if they don't get 'slain in the spirit' EVERY week and the other extreme that is people who are so closed off to any kind of move of the holy spirit because they are soo focused on the tradition and unchanging routine. Personally I have come from the tradition side but through encouragement from friends and a lack of fufillment with the tradition I have learnt to open myself up to what the spirit is doing.

Celebration vs. Reverence - After a recent children's service that was held at my church I met with a couple for lunch, we discussed the service and how we found it. This service had been very celebratory, there was a lot of energy and opportunities for the congregation to sing what they thought of God. Personally I found it to be great but the couple I talked to had a different view, they felt that there was no reverence in the service, no coming before God with a sense of awe and respect.

Literal vs. Paraphrase - I know people who take the scriptures literally word for word, if the bible says something then that is exactly what is meant. Whereas others interpret the bible by looking at what the author was trying to say, looking for the message behind the words. Personally I believe that the meaning behind the words is more important than what words are used, but I know I catch myself being very literal at times. This can show through with what translations are seen as the 'preferred' translation. Some people believe that the King James Bible is the only translation that should be read from the pulpit whereas others use paraphrases like the Message bible as the basis for their teaching.

The above are only three examples of things that make each church different, there are many different forms that the church can take, it is looking at what form it could take to make a difference in New Zealand.

Newspaper Report

The local paper had an article titled "On a quest and a prayer", in summary the article is about a wellington reporter that went to a range of different sunday morning services and her observations about those services.
She starts by sharing her view of this "God Stuff" she believes that there is a greater being, a "supreme consciousness". She terms it "[I]...believe in a vast, intelligent and creative conscienceness of which we are all part."
The services she went to were:

• A Catholic Mass
• Wesley Methodist
• The Rock
• Destiny

She had some interesting observations that we need to be aware of if we are to communicate the gospel to people who do come to our door looking for this "supreme being"

The Mass

lost behind words and references I don't understand

"God feels remote, lost behind words and references I don't understand" the reporter felt completly lost during the service, she did not know what todo, the use of Christian Terminology completly lost her.

Wesley Methodist

there's pretty much a pew for each person

"Theres a place for you at Wesley Wellington announces the information booklet I'm handed. Sadly, it's more than true. With less than 30 in the congregation, there's pretty much a pew for each person."
This is a scary reality for a lot of churches out there, what once was a congregation of 200+ is now reduced to 30 people most of these are retired.

The Rock

The sense of community and belonging is huge. Here they all are, linked by faith and rhythm

The reporter seemed very impressed with this church "The sense of community and belonging is huge. Here they all are, linked by faith and rhythm" The only criticism she makes arecomments about the similarity of the music to "the catchy love songs playing on every commercial radio station in New Zealand"
From what I can work out The Rock is a part of the New Life churches in NZ, possibly an offshoot? Im not sure.

Destiny

Ten percent of your income...Before tax

The reporter was suprised by how open and welcoming Destiny was, she had expected "black shirted evangelicals looking alarmingly militant" What concerned her was the offering and how the congregation was asked twice to give "Ten percent of your income...Before tax"

Gives u some things to think about...

Flatting

I'm moving out of home (finally) this week, it is going to be good to have freedom and be living unattached to my parents :)

A drawback of this is that I will not have broadband access at the flat so my blogs might be a bit more sporadic than they usually are...

Friend vs Servant...

I've been thinking about how we regard this thing we call a "Relationship" with God

I was reading in Velvet Elvis about how the bible never says anything about a relationship with God and that it is something that has been brought in to try and express something that is unexpressable.

I wonder if a different way to express this could be to go back to the picture of a servant.

When I think of a servant I think of a person who willingly serves their master- this is different to a slave who has no choice, a slave is purchased and is property, yet a servant is willing, a servant acts for the masters good and seeks to please his/her master.

A trustworthy servant is given freedom and independance to make decisions on behalf of the master to benefit the masters cause

I seem to remember a parable that talks about how different servants were given differing responsibility based on their ability and trustworthyness. A trustworthy servant is given freedom and independance to make decisions on behalf of the master to benefit the masters cause. I wonder if this is what God seeks for us, he is happy for us to make decisions while in his service that will further his cause.

This is a different view to the "relationship" with Jesus way of viewing things, I know of soo many people (including myself) who are looking for a mystical magical relationship with Jesus, there is almost a expectation that you will always 'feel' in Gods presence and that it will be super. The difference when you start viewing things through the eyes of a servant is that there will be times when you spend time with the master (e.g. times of prayer, worship, bible reading) but there will also be times when you are not in the masters presence (i.e. when you are not spending time activly talking/listening to God) but you are still working to further his cause. I wonder if we get caught up on the being with the master and when we are not "with him" we feel like we are a bad servant.

What do you think? Am I off track?

No mates...no thanks UPDATE

Its been an interesting few weeks since I posted 'No mates... No thanks'. I have tried to get out more rather than stay at home and feel sorry for myself. I have been going to the New Life Young Adults group that I talked about and I am enjoying it. It is not easy at times meeting new people but I am positive about it.
I have been going to different Church services aswell, I was at the local Elim on saturday night and I really enjoyed the worship, there was a real sense of energy and life in the church that inspired me. I found the speaker was challenging aswell but he did try to hype up the crowd a bit :(
On the sunday I went to the New Life evening service where a friend was worship leading for the first time. She did well. This was different but I enjoyed it.
I have also been getting into my music again, turning up Planetshakers or United Live and spending time just focusing on God and celebrating him.

Brad if you read this I appreciate your comments and trying to catch up with me, I am sorry that it hasnt happened yet, I just have been crazy with life :) but I do appreciate the comments you have placed and that you care for me.

I also should acknowledge that I steal a lot of images for this blog from DeviantArt.com, I find this site to be an amazing repository of art of all different styles. I recommend that you have a look for yourself. Generally with the images I use if you click them and look at their name in the address bar you will see the name of the piece of art and who the artist is. You can search for this on DeviantArt.com.

I went to a service today...

I went to a service today...

There was a couple of hymns...

The bible reading was from Ecclesiastes...

A person got up and spoke...

.

.

.

and then the casket was taken out of the room by the pall-bearers...

The service I went to was for the friends Gran that I reference in my previous post, the scary thing about this is that this sounds very similar to a lot of church services that are held every Sunday.

I wonder if for average Joe New Zealander the only experience they have of Hymns, Bible readings and Speakers is at funerals. I don't know about you but my experience is that a funeral is a sad occasion that I try to avoid and I never look forward to.

Is that the image that people have of Church? We invite people to church and we do the same things that are done at a funeral?

Funny ay?

I acknowledge that part of what Jesus went through was death, but there was also a weird thing that happened after three days... Something about him raising from the dead and him hanging out with his followers (called apostles) when they were having a meal, for the apsotles it must have changed from a funeral to a party!

Just gets ya thinking about how we 'do' church...

Death

Death - its one of those things that we know will visit everyone we know eventually (including ourselves) but we ignore that it can happen untill one day BANG! you get a phone call, a text, or read in the obituaries in the paper that someome you know has been visited by death. One of my friends Gran passed away a couple of days ago and the thing that is confusing is how do you let the grieving people know you care and are there to support them?

I mean what do you say? I find saying that I would pray for them seems so hollow yet I know that as a person who claims to follow this "essence", this "force" that we call God prayer would seem to be pretty important.

Have you ever wondered how you handle people who have lost someone?

What do you say?

What is appropiate to say/do?

When is it appropiate to go to the funeral?

When do we prioritise work over the funeral?

I have felt particually guilty regarding this last question, this same friend had her father pass away about a month ago and I didn't goto the funeral, I chose a training day at work over it. I know now that this was a bad decision and it showed no respect for her or her family. This afternoon I am planning to goto the Grans funeral, but I am feeling nervious about how appropiate it is. Do I go? I would love to just have someone tell me yes I should go, or no I shouldn't.

Well I have decided that I will go regardless of how appropiate it may or may not be, but I still feel uneasy about it.

!!!!!!!!!

OMG!

http://www.transformersmovie.com/

Theres even a trailer!!!

Cool Scripture

1 Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. 2 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory. 3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us – they help us learn to endure. 4 And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. 5 And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Committees

I saw this quote on the wall in one of my Polytech classrooms and I thought it was quite appropiate...

A commitee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and quietly strangled
- Sir Barnett Cocks

So true...lol

Bible = Instruction Manual?

I am reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell at the moment, this is the same guy who made the Nooma DVD's I have talked about in a previous post. I am finding this book to be real challenging, he asks the same questions that I have never publiclly aired. Questions about how we take the bible literaly word for word, yet the 'translations' we read are exactly that, they are a group of scholars interpetation of the origional texts.

At one point Rob talks about the differing views of the bible and the attitudes we have towards it, I love how he sums up one of the attitudes out there...

And while I'm at it, lets make a group decision to drop once and for all the Bible-as-owner's-manual metaphor. It's terrible. It really is.

When was the last time you read the owner's manual for your toaster? Do you find it remotely inspiring or meaningful?

You only refer to it when something's wrong with your toaster. You use it to fix the problem, and then you put it away.

I find that this has a lot to say regarding how we treat the Bible.
The question I ask is how do I treat the Bible myself? Is it an instruction manual pulled out when there is trouble and then left in storage gathering dust until another problem comes up?

Something to ponder...

Flame

We had a childrens service this morning, it was an interesting experience for me. Generally I know when the holy spirit is calling out loudly to me because my legs start shaking, my gut starts filling with butterflies and I know I have a choice. I can choose to stay where I am or I can choose to respond. Usually I sense the holy spirit working quietly almost secretly in the background but occasionally he shouts. This morning was a morning where he was shouting to me.
I am unsure what was being done in me this morning but I know that a response was needed, I stepped forward, got on my knees and asked God for his fire, his passion, his zeal.

The question that came to my mind after the service was "Where to from here?" How is this experience going to effect how I live this thing called life? How is this going to be reflected in my wanderings?

I do not have an answer to this, yet for some reason this does not disturb me, it fills me with hope, hope about the things I am involved with, hope for seeing him working in people lives, hope that he has the best for me.

Theres a scripture that talks about this, I can't remember where it is, somewhere in the letters of Paul I think, talking about the "hope we have in him" (Jesus), look it up I think it is kinda related to what I am sharing out lol...

Well this is another step on the journey :-)

Monuments vs Tents

I have been slowly reading through 'An unstoppable force' by Erwin McMannus, in the second chapter he talks about how the church (as a community) has built Cathedrals rather than tents. Cathedrals are a testiment to the past and is a point in time of where a community is at. The problem with a Cathedral is that is can be inflexible and cannot be moved. A tent can be moved with little notice it has a lot of flexibility and is a lot more fluid. I was thinking about how wind effects cathedrals and tents. A cathedral is bricks, mortar and glass and stands against the 'wind' where as a tent can move and flex with the wind, I think it can be the same when the holy spirit blows through a community do they stand resilient against what the spirit is doing or can they flex and move with the wind?

Are we building a Cathedral
or pitching a tent?

The question is that is your church building a cathedral or a tent?
Are you as a community solid or flexible?
How you you react when the holy spirit comes?

Been a little busy

I've been a little busy lately, there has been a lot on with Work (worked all weekend) and with polytek starting to heat up. I was listening to my Nickelback CD and I got thinking about the lyrics to one of their songs:

Nickelback - If Everyone Cared Lyrics

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I'm alive

[CHORUS]

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing

Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen I'm alive
Singing Amen I'm alive

[CHORUS (X2)]

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

I found this to be quite cool.

Snowfall

We had an unecpected snowfall this week, heres some photos...

And as a result of too much snow on the roof of the Judo hall next to work...

Church marketing Sucks?

I came across this blog the other day, it has an aggressive title but there is value in what the author has to say. It raises questions about the need for churches to use marketing to spread the gospel. They also look at questions like "Why bother with church?" and "appropiate" language.

Have a look...

http://www.churchmarketingsucks.com/dontsuck.html

Small groups...

This week has been interesting, last weekend I had a real downer, I felt lonely and depressed, the path seemed soo hard.

This week has been encouraging, I went to the young adults group on tuesday nite like I said I would, It was great! I loved every minute of it. They are working through a curricilum called "Friends for life" This stuff is New Zealand made for New Zealand :) I'm looking forward to going this week. I started leading a small after 6 months as a God follower so I have little experience of just going to a small group, so it was a bit weird. But I enjoyed it.

I really liked this pic because I feel that I am like the guy, I feel I am walking away from the burn't out rubble into a better day.

Treading the wandering path...

It's an interesting path that we walk down, we seem to have days where the path is easy walking the sun streaming down and there is a slight refreshing breeze. Walking the path is a pleasant experience it is refreshing and brings a sense of peace.

Other times the path can seem rocky, you seem to stub your toe on every second rock, the rain is pouring down and you are chilled to the bone. At times like this the last place you want to be is on the path. But it is the memories of sunnier times on the path that keep you going, they keep you putting one foot in front of the other.

You know that regardless what the travel on the path is like the destination is what you are striving for, you are enjoying the trip on the path but the destination is hovering in the back of your mind.

The life of a God follower can be like this path, there is times where it is easy to follow God and you have a great time, other times can be a struggle, things can make us feel guilt, shame, jealousy. At times like this following God can seem soo hard or that we are not good enough to follow the path any more.

Yet when it is sunny and when it is pouring there is a still silent voice that is calling out, a voice that is full of compassion in the times of guilt, a voice that is full of encouragement when we feel down. This voice is whispering "I will never leave or forsake you"

How is the path for you at the moment?

The question I ask you is how is the path for you at the moment? Are you basking in the warm sunshine? or are you slipping in the mud?

Picture from http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/2808913/

Curtis profile

I saw this on a friends myspace site and I thought I'd fill it out for myself :)

Name: Curtis
Birthdate: September 25th
Birthplace: Timaru New Zealand
Current Location: With parents
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 1m 80'ish I think
Weight: 84
Piercings: Nope
Tatoos: Nope
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Nope
Overused Phraze: "Keeping outa trouble?" "Sweet" "Cheers"

FAVORITES
Food: Silverside with mustard sauce, or Daal on rice (indian lentil soup stuff)
Candy: Mints
Number: 42 (the meaning of life)
Color: blue/black
Animal: Dog
Drink: Chai Latte
Alcohol Drink: I enjoy Heiniken & Stella Artior
Bagel: Nope
Letter:
Body Part on Opposite sex: Lol what a question, the safe guys answer is eyes or hair, but the reality is that most of us guys don't just look at a girls eyes or hair, figure does play a part. I'm not being lewd or demeaning to women when I say this. I spose for me it would be a girls face and figure. But the key thing is if they love God, are outgoing and I can be myself around them.

This or That
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonalds or BurgerKing: Burger King
Strawberry or Watermelon: Watermelon
Hot tea or Ice tea: Hot tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Iced coffee
Kiss or Hug: Hug
Dog or Cat: Dogs
Rap or Punk: Punk
Summer or Winter: Summer
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Funny
Love or Money: Love

YOUR...
Bedtime: 10'ish
Most Missed Memory: Living out on our lifestyle block out by the airport
Best phyiscal feature: The large scar on my left knee
First Thought Waking Up: What have I got on today?
Goal for this year: To continue seeking God and to grow in my relationship with him
Best Friends: in no particular order, Brad, Jase, Gina, Loachy, Shaz, Nyree
Weakness: Being assertive
Fears: rejection
Heritage: Well Curtis is derived from the word "Courtious" and my mother maiden name is Soper which comes from "Soap Maker" so you could say I'm a Polite Soap maker!!!
Longest relationship: lol none that I would term a relationship

HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: Yes
Ever Smoked: Tried it but nearly choked
Pot: Nope
Ever been Drunk: Yup, not really a peasant experience
Ever been beaten up: Not badly
Ever beaten someone up: I've defended myself but thats it
Ever Shoplifted: Nope
Ever Skinny Dipped: Nope
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: I've been kissed but it was one sided (its a long story)
Been Dumped Lately: Nope

IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: Doesn't matter
Favorite Hair Color: Brown/Black
Short or Long: Either
Height: Irrellevant
Style: Willing to go against the crowd
Looks or Personality: Both
Hot or Cute: Cute
Drugs and Alcohol: No drugs, Alcohol fine

RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: yea
What country do you want to Visit: Japan, States, India (again)
How do you want to Die: regardless how the result is still the same!
Been to the Mall Lately: Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: luv em
Get along with your Parents: yup
Health Freak: No, but trying to be healthier
Do you think your Attractive: Sometimes
Believe in Yourself: most of the time
Want to go to College: I've studied at Carey Baptist College (Diploma in Mission and Diploma in Youth Ministry) and am currently studying at Aoraki Polytech (Bachelor of computer Science)
Do you Smoke: Nope
Do you Drink: Yup
Shower Daily: Yup
Been in Love: I once thought I was but I was wrong
Do you Sing: Only in my car when I'm alone
Want to get Married: Yup
Do you want Children: Yup
Have your future kids names planned out: Nope
Hate anyone: I have a couple of people I strongly dislike but I wouldnt say I hate them

Who I'd like to meet: Erwin McMannus (to goto Mosaic in Los angles and see what they are doing to impact their community)

No mates .... no thanks

I have had a real nagging feeling for the last few months, I have read books to try to satisfy this feeling, I have subscribed to website newsletters, and I have tried to ignore it by keeping focused on other things (e.g. Gaming, Movies).
This weekend it has been really hitting me... I feel lonely. As a teenager this wasn't an issue, I always got invites to things from friends but friends have moved on and now I spend my weekends either alone at home or with teenagers playing computer games (no offense to the teenagers). I know I am not the only person who stuggles with this I have tried to get together with people my own age but this is soo hard.

Well I'm sick of this!

Well I'm sick of this! I heard about a young adults small group that the local New Life church runs, I have contacted them about it and I'm going to go tomorrow nite.

I find it amazing how in a world that has so many methods of connecting with others (texting, instant messaging, video calls, blogs etc.) that we are the most disconnected generation yet. I was watching Juice TV (music channel) and every second song was singing about lonelyness. Lyrics like "Such a lonely day shouldn't exist, It's a day that I'll never miss, Such a lonely day and its mine, the most loneliest day of my life"(System of a Down) and "I'm so lonely,I'm Mr. Lonely" (Akon) . There is a cry out there for that sense of connection with others. There is no denying that God will never leave of forsake us

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD is the one who goes before you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor forsake you. (Deut 31:8, NLT)

Its comforting to know that regardless how we feel that our God will never bail on us.

Risk, Poker & Innovation

I was talking to a close friend the other day, and eventually we got onto the topic of Girls (as a lot of conversations seem to drift towards). We started talking about dating and the way we do this as christians.

Ill hafta share my story sometime on this blog but that can wait for another post.

In a nutshell I am the only one in my family to have a faith committment. I am exposed to differing lifestyles, this has its pros and its cons. I see my sisters lifestyle and the way she reacts to life and I know that it is not the way I want to live my life BUT I do see that her relationships are a lot more open and honest about intentions right from the beginning.

Something I found funny is the way we as Christians go about dating. We have to be so sure before we say something, its like a bad game of poker; to minimise the risk of loosing we 'hedge' our bets before we do anything. In relationships it seems that we don't want to take a risk unless we are really sure, I can understand why we do this because to take a risk is to open yourself up and to be vulnerable to someone who may reject us. Personally I have had little experience with dating, the experiences I have had have not been positive and I know I went through a patch where I felt that relationships (and friendships in general) were not worth the effort. The cost can be high, But does that mean we stop taking risks? A poker player that never takes a risk on their hand will never find out what could have come from playing that hand out. They could loose everything, they could break even or they could clean out the house. Such is the way with a risk. The thing with taking a risk is that it can hurt, it can mean heartache and the (potential) crushing of dreams. Personally I have experienced rejection mostly because of me misinterpeting friendship for something more. At times I get scared that I will be alone for the rest of my life, but then I generally get caught up in the busyness of life and it gets forgotten. Well regardless of my 'relationship status' I know that seeking & serving God is the priority.

Comfortable vs Innovative

I wonder if this attitude of 'hedging' our bets is wider than just dating, I wonder if this has become the mantra for the church in general. We seek to be safe before we move forward, we seek to be comfortable above being innovative and we sit there and question why people don't come en-masse to meet God. I think this is why I have loved being involved with Youth Minsitry at my church, the youth are not afraid to be innovative, they are a lot more willing to take risks.

So what am I going to do about it? Its easy to complain about the church but harder to get stuck in and make a change....

Well

I'm going to get stuck in again, be willing to serve where needed and be willing to put my money where my mouth is. I am exploring the possibility of starting a small group that meets during the lunchbreak downtown in timaru and explores issues that arise in life.

Female picture from http://www.deviantart.com/print/43962/

Dog poker picture from http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/7943902/

Good articles on singleness http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles

Decay

Half my face is numb at the moment

I've had a toothache in the evenings for the last week and I have finally decided to do something about it so I went to the dentist this morning, a few months ago the suspect tooths filling had fallen out and I hadn't got around to getting it fixed so I knew where the problem was. Once the dentist had a look I found out that the tooth that I thought was the cause of the pain wasn't and that the problem one was the next one back.

This confused me a little untill the dentist explained it: The tooth that I thought was causing the problems was missing a filling (had fallen out) but in the tooth behind it the filling had cracked but not fallen out. So this cracked filling had become a 'food trap' and have caused decay in the tooth while still looking fine when I looked in the bathroom mirror.

So the result was the dentist had to do some drilling and put fillings in both teeth thus half my face is numb.

What I got thinking about on the way home from the dentist was how we do the same thing with rubbish in our own lives. This rubbish that some people (and the bible) call 'sin' Now I personally find the word sin to be very harsh and I struggle to use it in any context. But anyway this rubbish that we know is there but we choose to deny its existance is slowly causing decay in our spirit. For some people it is easy to see and is public. But if you are like me then you will cover it up so that it all looks fine (like my tooth looked fine) but under that vaneer there is something slowly eating away at us.

This is not a good place to be, but I also know that God is like the dentist, he sees the obvious stuff (like a filling that has fallen out) but he is also able to see the not so easy stuff to see (like the next tooth back that looked fine but was actually worse) God through Jesus can bring healing to that decay he can remove it, drill it out and fill it up.

With this though there is still the consequences of the actions, for me it is that I now have some teeth that are more filling that tooth and there will be pain once the anasthetic wears off. This will be the same with the stuff God removes from our spirit that is causing decay, there will be pain, there will be sacrifice but there will also be a sense of being able to move forward a sense that it needed to be done and that you are a better person for it.

It hurts and it costs us but it is soo worth it, because our heavenly dentist knows what is best for us :-)

Just taking another step on the journey...

Auditors, Spirituality & Cut out Altars

I came across a great site the other day, http://www.rejesus.co.uk This is a british site (Anglican I think) On the site there is a PDF document that can be downloaded called "Sacred space" This document outlines 10 ways to bring the sacred into your workplace. It seems to have been written with great intentions but I find some of them to be inappropiate for the average NZ workplace.

One idea was to setup a 'sacred space' (I like this idea) in the workplace and to appoint a 'sacred space auditior' (bad terminology) to measure its effectiveness and to 'plan what sort of changes to implement.' this sounds like a great idea but I can't see many places that this could happen in.

A good idea was to have go for a 20 minute walk during your lunchbreak and open your senses to what is going on around you, to what is going on inside and what is God is doing.

I had a good laugh at the next one I saw, a cut out altar that you can put on your desk, complete with Candles and some crosses. See below...

I find it funny and amazing how the different 'flavours' of christianity work, for some people a cut out altar on their desk would be great, it would help them connect with God yet I know I look at this and laugh:-) I say this with no contempt for the flavours that have altars in their churches. It is meerly a different expression of this thing we call the church.

Have a look at 'sacred space' yourself here

Christ is Safe?

Christs work makes us safe, Gods word makes us sure

I saw this statement on a chalkboard outside the local Christian Bookshop, it got me thinking about the cheesy statements we come up with that are absolute rubbish.

My experience of Christianity has shown me that the only time I feel safe is when I am not seeking God. I feel the most insecure, freaked out and scared when im pushing my limits in my faith.

A story that comes to mind is about a few guys they were out in their boat, the weather was turning to custard it was getting worse and worse. Then they see a guy walking towards them, this guy was the same guy that they had been hanging out with for a while, this guy always seemed to do some weird things that they didn't understand. Now this same guy who went by the name Jesus was out on the water walking towards them. They were all freaked! Jesus called out to them and said "Hey relax, its me!" One of the more impulsive guys in the boat called Peter called out to Jesus, if its really you let me come to you! Jesus said "Come on, I'm waiting"

oh crud, I've gotta do something now

Now Peter must have been freaking, I guess he would have just realised that oh crud, I've gotta do something now. I bet that the statement 'Christs work makes us safe' wasn't much consolation at that time. Yet even though he was freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional (FINE for short) He knows that God is calling him so he steps out of the boat.

I would bet everything I own that he never felt safe though...

Everest

Mark Inglis
You may have heard on the news that a double amputee has conquered Mt Everest.

I heard a radio announcer say the following:

Last night while we were at home watching TV a guy with no legs climbed Mt Everest

Kinda challenging huh?

What has overshadowed this achivement for Mark Inglis is that on the way up his party passed a man who had got into trouble coming down the mountain and was slowly freezing to death. They made the call to leave him where he was and continue to the top. Sir Edmund Hillary (the guy who first reached the top of Everest) has come out and criticised Mark Inglis and his party for not abandoning the summit and getting the freezing climber down the mountain. Marks response has been to say that the freezing climber was too far gone and that there was no hope for him. Mark and his party were not the only people to pass the freezing climber by, apparently over 40 people went by him.

Mt Everest (www.friendlyplanet.com)

The media has taken to this in a frenzy and Mark has not returned to New Zealand a hero but a villian.

Some of the people attempting Everest have paid significant money to climb Everest, some news articles say in excess of $50,000. But being faced with the choice of trying to save a man who was freezzing to death and reaching the summit, over 40 people walked by and left the climber to freeze.

How much is a human life worth?

The questions this raised for me was how much is a human life worth? If I was one of those 40 people would I give up my dream of reaching the summit to help a fellow climber? would I sacrifice my significant cash investment to save a guy who might die anyway?

I don't have answers for these are hard questions, I would like to argee with Sir Edmund and say I would forget the summit, but I don't know... what would you do?

Singleness and Faith

I got invited to another friends wedding this week.
He rung me up to let me know I was invited, we got talking about work and life in general and then he asked a question that I knew was coming, a question that I have been asked many times over the last few years, he asked me 'So have you got a girlfriend yet?'
I gave a brush-off answer 'that girls are not worth the hassle'...I knew this was a lie but it was a way of pushing aside a topic that I have never found easy.

The topic of singleness is a struggle for a lot of Christians. I googled 'Christian Singles' and I got 12 million hits! There are an amazing amount of books out there called 'God will give you a wife/husband in 12 easy steps!' I have read a couple of books on Christian dating (or courting or whatever different term you want to use) and some have been helpful and others I haven't bothered finishing.

Do you have a list?

Its funny, I met with a female friend for coffee this week and I asked her if she had a "List" of what she was looking for in a guy. She did. It was a decent list that had been thought out.

It got me thinking about what I look for in a potential partner.

Looking at my history it seems to be if she is interested in me is about the only thing on the list.

But then I got thinking about what I really look for. I look for someone who is...

• Outgoing
• Funny
• Passionate about God
• Someone I can be myself around

A friend at my church who is happily married once told me that he had 20'ish things from the bible that he used to measure up a potential partener/spouse. I might have to see what these were.

Ill post anything I find out here :-)

Nooma

I get real excited when I hear of people who try to communicate God in alternative ways or are being revolutionary in their way of connecting people with God, Erwin McMannus is one of these, the guys who are a part of XXXChurch (www.xxxchurch.com) are another.
One guy I heard about a couple of years ago is Rob Bell. Rob is a pastor at Mars Hill Bible Church in Michigan. What made him stand out to me for a start was a story about one of the first sermons he 'preached' at his church.

The first book he decided to preach his way through was Leviticus, in one service the scripture was Leviticus 10:3, in this verse it says "Aaron was Silent" so Rob read out this verse at the start of the sermon and then sat down...

They sat there for 45 minutes in silence

While they were sitting there a powerpoint was playing that said "Some of you will be finding this really hard...tough luck"

Apparently this was the most profound sermon that the congregation had heard.

This guy is willing to try alternative ways rather than the bog-standard sermon.

Anyway this guy has released a series of DVD's called Nooma, each DVD is a talk on a topic, a talk is probally a bad way of explaining it, Rob is having a conversation with the listener. He has a website that is worth a look (www.nooma.com).

Picture taken from the discussion booklet that is available for free download off the website.

I am planning to have a closer look at the entire DVD set soon and I'll post here any thoughts that come from them.

Why go to Church?

I have talked to a few people about why they attend Church on Sundays, It has been interesting to see the variation in reasons. Here are some of them...

• Teaching - Sunday mornings are about the teaching that comes from the pulpit.
• Fellowship - Sunday mornings are about gathering with other Christians for social reasons.
• Ministry - Sunday mornings are about seeing others connect with God in a way that is significant.
• Worship - Sunday mornings are about coming into Gods presence and experiencing his spirit inside.

I read a sample chapter from a book that will be coming out in the next few months called "Starving Jesus" (http://www.starvingjesus.com) in this chapter the writer shares about his story and going through a time of not attending Sunday services.

Why didn't I go to church? The reason was simple: I didn't want to. So, one day I decided I would go. Because church is not about me. It is not about what I like, what I want to sing, what I wish I could hear and how short I wish the service was.

This is an example of what Church is about, Sunday services are not about ourselves they are about serving others like the big guy did.

Movie quote

I was watching a movie the other day and there was a quote that realy stood out to me.

...and it's very important to understand the difference between religion and faith. Because faith is not about having the right answers. Faith is a feeling. Faith is a hunch, really. It's a hunch that there is something bigger connecting it all, connecting us all together.
And that feeling, that hunch, is God. - Edward Norton.

Gets you thinking about the difference between Faith and religion doesnt it?

The movie was Keeping the Faith(2000) and was directed by Edward Norton.

It revolves around a Rabbi (Ben Stiller), a business executive (Jenna Elfman) and a priest (Edward Norton). I highly recommend this movie, it is funny yet still tackles some very real issues.

Just something to ponder...

Who am I?

I am sitting here at my parents old computer and listening to Third Day.

I have been thinking about how we approach God and how we do this thing we call 'church', I come from a christian background, I met Jesus at age 17 and have done the 'church' thing for the last 6 years. I have had a nagging feeling for the last year or so that there is something missing from the way we do 'church'.

...the real tragedy is that is not that churches are
dying but that churches have lost their resaon to live! - Erwin McMannus

I'm reading a great book at the moment by an american Erwin McMannus that is resonating with my soul (An unstoppable force). I feel the rumblings of what he is saying and I am processing what this means for this faith I claim. My wanderings have led me down different paths of late and I am unsure which path I seek. I am at a crossroads looking at the signpost wondering which direction I will take. One way accept the status-quo, the other way is to be different, to be reveloutionary. I believe that the church can be the light of the world that it claims to be but I wonder if it has gone into defense mode and as Erwin puts it 'built a Castle' to defend itself.

Just some thoughts from one wandering down the road....

Initial thoughts

Well this is a new experience, blogging seems to be a great way of expressing what is inside in a world that is soo busy and hectic.

The purpose of this blog is to express what is going on in my weird and often wondering mind, I am on a journey of discovery, I see myself as a 'wandering soul' and this blog is a log of the wandering that I am doing.